After being the main character for a story I've tried to write over three years, you'd think I'd have more than two pictures of just this kid by himself....



Like Vivrael and Vivant, I decided pretty quickly on Rowan being "The Hermit". Unlike "The Fool" or "The Magician", the meaning of "The Hermit" card is fairly close to our impressions of hermitage. The lone person, who seeks solitude, who needs to retreat from human society, who may be knowledgeable but his wariness of human contact prevents him from sharing that knowledge.

The meaning of the card is "need for withdrawal or introspection" or "the need to step out of their retreat". Rowan is naturally in the first stage and through his growing relationships with other characters, learns to do the second.

Unlike Sigmund or Vivrael, Rowan isn't "good-looking", so I always try not to draw him as so. I guess his most noticeable characteristics are innocence and uncertainty.

I know I often say that I don't like him. I don't tend to like uncertain personalities, especially in fiction, but as far as being a "character" - a tool of the story - I do like Rowan. He grew from reading too much postmodernist theory in year 12.

Where Vivant is a very traditional main character - he learns fast, he's quick-thinking, he has limited tolerance for tyranny, he gets along with people (when he wants to) etc...Rowan was invented purposely to overturn much of that. He's hesitant, he's slow to be drawn out of his shell, he's naive and can be short-sighted, and it takes a long time for him to grow.

Vivant is neither a follower nor a leader, but Rowan is quite decidedly a follower. He needs to be told what to do for him to feel any sense of purpose. In the end he becomes a limited narrator, because although his existence instigated much of the events, his participation in them is limited.

But I do like Rowan as a "character", in that he develops and grows and becomes comparatively stronger and confident to the withdrawn boy at the beginning. Vivant grows too, but I think he more or less reaches in for the nastiness that he's always had in place, whereas Rowan really works at pushing himself towards the optimism he's never had.

Come to think of it, I think Rowan and Sigmund's relationship would work quite normally if Rowan was a girl. LOL.
luna_rainbow: (Next Assignment)
In the Beginning

Of all tasks, the most difficult is "to begin".

But things begin everywhere, all the time, as Fate tears forward on her temperamental tide, bearing us towards our end. I may have questioned Fate once, and I still question her now. But silently she leads us, blindfolded and ignorant players along her unlit stage, never stooping to answer.

Every story has a beginning, but every true story has another tale to tell before it. And another before that, all the way back to the first dawning of time. Yet before even then, was there still another lonely heart, another unguided soul...another untold story?

My story is one such, that leads without a beginning, and until I die, will leave without an ending. This is my story. This is my life.

This is me. HC0398.

Call me Rowan.

If you're still interested... )
luna_rainbow: (Next Assignment)

Next Assignment is something I started in the departing summer of 2003 when I was planning my short story for 4U English. It is probably the main reason why I did so terribly in the HSC - because in the 3 weeks before the exams, I spent all of it writing...from chapters 20 to 30.

All this became in vain. Afterwards, I became deeply unhappy with what happened between 20 and 30, and proceeded to rewrite them from scratch.

Next Assignment will always be something with which I have a love-hate relationship. It is my first science-fiction-like story. The characters are not immediately likeable and takes a long time to grow on the readers, and even longer in the case of the main character Rowan.

More than anything, more than any of my other stories, what always made me frustrated was the language. It was necessary for the tone to be unmatured, to have the rawness of a child and the awkwardness of someone unused to baring their thoughts on paper. It needs to have the blandness of emotional suppression but still convey the appropriate emotions, the emotions that Next Assignment is filled with - regret, sorrow, bitterness and, in many forms of the word, love. In the lack of form and refinement, there must be something for which the readers can realise the depth of emotion that possesses and motivates each of the characters.

There are aspects of the story, even after many many re-edits and rewrites, I am not happy with and will probably never be pleased with. I hope at least it can be perceived as a story about a selection of human relationships, observed by a boy who thought himself incapable.


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